Keeping Your Marriage Strong

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Being the caregiver for a person with dementia typically lasts for several years. And your spouse is part of this commitment, whether or not he or she actively participates in the care of your loved one. Recognizing this, discussing your caregiving responsibilities and consciously investing energy in your marriage is an important component of keeping your relationship strong. Couples who have survived the stresses of caring for a relative say that it was essential for them to communicate openly and set aside time for each other.

Communication is key to any marriage but even more so with the added stress of caring for a loved with dementia. Talking about how your parents and your spouse’s parents cared for their parents can reveal caregiving expectations and beliefs. It can also be helpful to discuss how each of you felt during this time.

Consider discussing:

• What do you remember?
• Do you have positive feelings?
• Do you have negative feelings?
• Do you have fears, concerns or expectations that you bring to the current situation?
• What are your limits and your needs?

Understanding family history and expectations can help you and your spouse develop a workable arrangement for your present situation.